sharon.lh

i slept and i felt better.
also there's tons of variety to watch.
-we got married
-let me sleep here tonight
-sj special star king

ooh yeah~~~~

i'm not going to sit down do nothing.
maybe i shall go find the strength.
but up till now.
i'm still like a zombie.

sigh. watching we got married really cheers me up. it was funny. haha. but i think full house is still the best.
-

from a strong girl to a cry out of a sudden girl...
from a 'everyone but only she knows' english girl to a 'even brought and bought also dont know which want to use' girl...
from a 'chinese lousiest among the chinas' girl to a 'chinese worse than sec1' girl...
from a 'very passionate about dancing' girl to a 'murdered the dance' girl...
from a 'never at all cry in school' girl to a 'cry in alternate weeks' girl...
from a 'very like maths' girl to a 'shit, maths.' girl...
from a 'run 2.4 in 15 mins' girl to a 'just left 1 sec' girl...
from a 'do work, got motivation' girl to a 'fuck it, just do it slowly' girl...

sharon ah... bogoshiptta. please come back to me.

really thanks...
and junior, i love you v. much. you are really the bestest, altho i think crying for me is like crying for your lost 0.0000000000000000x10 to the power of infinity cents.

thanks to those who told me not to cry. altho i know it's really ridiculous to cry over a stupid situational paper that is not even a ct. but it means a lot to me. as in... when ms wong emphasize on the word "ELABORATE", i almost want to die of suffocation. cuz i'm so angry and disappointed at myself that i din learn from my lesson. ever since the beggining of sc2... i was told to elaborate. why din i learn? i remembered my mistakes well. i even wrote down the points i wanted to write and write a draft, i kept thinking to myself when i did it, 'must elaborate', so as to improve myself. i thot i did a good job. but fuck the results. why issit that others, just doing it normally, can get good scores and why me, even with a draft, just pass? i really dont understand. when i cried, i kept thinking, why issit me? no matter how much i enjoyed reading, how much i wanted to improve, i am always stuck or i just had to go the hard way. -.- i'm seriously very angry at myself. i cant even diiferentiate 'bought' and 'brought', i cant even know whether to use a 's' behind a word when it's they, we, you, i etc... up till now. i'm soon to be fifteen. can you believe it? i cant. i feel like just dropping out of school. no point. no point. no one just notice me. like what ac asked 'why issit that you keep handing up your work late?" when i actually handed in her corrections on time, doing two of it instead on one till 3 am in the morning, causing an internal drama during guides. and she still can tell me this. this is ridiculous. why me, people? why me, people? i tried so hard to keep up wth the rest cuz i know i have been lacking in my studies. i even regained my reading habits when i'm so fucked up busy so as to improve my english. i now even borrowed chinese books to read, and force myself to read. as for my dance... even sihui tells me i lack of confidence on a not so related matter... just fuck everybody lah. i dont want to go to school anymore. i just want to slack all day and just be free of worries.

run away from home to escape my air 'polluted by me' room
run away from school to escape studies and etc.
run away from my body to stop killing myself by seeing me short, fat, bispectacles, braces, ugly skin
run away from earth to stop thinking about global warming, suffering and etc.

nobody will read this anyway, i shall not write so much.
nobody will understand what i am talking about.
nobody will even know i wrote this.
nobody will even now i thanked them for comforting me

eveybody will just think i am weird.
everybody will just think i am over-thinking.
everybody will just think i am being too sensitive.

i am not lam huili sharon.
i am...

...
...
...
...

FUCKED UP.(:

after 1 year and 6 months of waiting, after 2 weeks of promotions, after working and practising so hard, after so many performance...

슈퍼주니어이 마지막으로 이기다~~!!!!!!!!

omg. it was such a heart wrenching moment.
so sad that i wasnt able to watch it live but when angel kneeled down to thank the fans, when elf chants 'dont cry', when angel called out to kibum to say that they did it, when heechul acted as kibum... it was the bomb. i'm so happy and proud of them. they are certainly the best. i really hope they can carry on winning and eventually win for 10 weeks to break the record. i, as an elf, will always support sj.







and some screen caps. i just have too.
슈퍼주니어이 화이팅~~!!!! ^^
나는 당신을 영원히 지원할 것이다.











thanks snsd for their support. heh.

sapphire forever~~~~~

Labels: kpop

not only sj, yo.

IU, 15YO, PRO SINGER - MISSING CHILD(MIA)

it's damn nice. love her voice. love the song. so good for lyrical or contemporary dance.

8eight - without a heart

lovely~~~

Memory - Paradise

very relaxing. when your feelings got tense, just listen to this.

davichi - 8282

when it's the chorus, DAMN POWER.

and i still have to put:
SUPER JUNIORRRRRRRR~~~~~~~

Labels: kpop

today felt extremely bitchy. ever since the morning.

let's built a story:
-woke up, shit, numo late for korean lesson.
-din attend korean lesson, instead went library, partly cuz i din bring money to pay her too.
-came home, fell asleep, for a while
-they finished up my lunch but cuz i din told them i havent had mine
-after my pa wake up from his nap, he's damn hyper and made a lot of noise. sing song ans kept calling me to ask things. i told him i am sleeping, he said, never tell me~, OMG. SLEEPING ALSO NEED TO TELL ONE AH. i lying down on the sofa, eyes shut.
-studied bio. like hungry... then digestion... -.- then, pa and hyung kept coming to my room and asked me things. i damn fed up, and shouted at them.
-before dinner was a roar roar.
-elearning sucks. seriously.
-i kept wondering, what the fuck is wrong with my phone?! why no sound?! why all those msg sent, came with no respond?! what the hell is wrong with my bloody phone?!

and the most frustrating thing is that:

I CANT BLAME OTHERS BUT ME.

i woke up late, never go korean class... it was my decision. i never told my pa and hyung that i havent take my lunch, it was my fault. to be bothered by them, it again, was my fault to not control myself. elearning is my fault cuz i din do them earlier. kept wondering why my phone is not making a bloody sound is also my fault. not only did it made me felt lousy but it gave me crazy imaginations. it tells me i'm a loner, that not even imaginary friends can help. but... what about those days when sometimes, i dont even get a call or sms but still felt happy. how did i past thru those days and not these. maybe... i am getting a L card...

hu~~~
as sungminnie said, why is today's situation like that?

hu~~~
ignore ignore.

i finally went out with juniorrrrr.
sooooooo happpy!!!!!
finally~~~~ ^^

sigh, girl. ling and jing are even closer to me even if i dont see them everyday. you know why, cuz they are much sensitive to their surroundings. and some people are not. so being an overly sensitive person, i'm over that phase, i shall just go with the flow. there's nothing much to care about. i long regarded that.

i had not do any elearning or hmwk.
i dont even know what hmwk i have.
heh.
call me defiant.
i really need the holiday.

and most of all,
THE JS AND D AND FAMILY. XOXO.

sometimes, i really feel guilty.
i am confused. @.@

Super Junior Being "SEXY" -

where did junior go?!?!?
i was expecting an e-mail from her but i guess she's too busy eating dimsum. haha. that's good. but i missing junior already.

today's another boring day. i purposely cope myself in the house for two full days. but i did nothing fruitful. i decided to rewrite my maths exercise book. i know it's like waste time. but my current one looks like shit. so disorganised and so many blank pages. i want to feel proud of a full, hardworking and organised MATHS exercise book. cuz i think maths is cool. ^^

anyway, ling pei-ed me thru sms during my boring afternoon and surprisingly, SEWONNIE REPLIED ME IN E-MAIL. for the past few days, i've wondering whether to call sewon in china or wait for her e-mail or e-mail lisa about our smokin' eunhyuk. OMG. CAN I SAY THIS AGAIN: SUPER JUNIOR IS THE HOTTEST!. woots~~~~

i've been spreading sj love to a few people. even ms wong. crazy, huh, me? hehehehhehehe.

lkw says we should master chinese. but it's so super hard. GRR. i mean why does he want china people come to sg. if he wants it, i dont want. because of him, i have to worry for my chinese. in the future, my boss maybe chinese. without chinese, how to communicate. BUT I THINK DIALECTS ARE MORE SUPERRRRR CULTURE. AND IMPORTANT. tyvm.

haha. sabrinnnnnaaaaa pei-ed on a sunday afternoon. she took so many photos sia~~~

WHERE'S THE EUNHAE-ISM?!

AND IS HE GETTING BRACES??

AND SHOULD I ASK JAM TO TUTOR ME???

-.- DESPO SHITZX.

i love this font. nobody will know what exactly i am writing about.

yesterday was effing crazy. i know i am not under some effing stress or anything. i just know it. but why did i break down? some more in front of a teacher. then the teacher thot i'm under stress and bottle things up. hello!!!! i'm seriously not lah. but i also dont know why i cry leh. some more cannot stop. since when, i've become a weakling. in primary school, i never cried before. honest! sigh. dont want to think about it anymore. i think i'm weird. i dont even know myself. haha.

omg!
i failed my indices test. eff it lah. i seriously dont know how to do. but it's maths, i have to buck up sia. maths... i must get A1. i cannot let maths down.

omg!
ballet's exam's coming. wednesday have some seriously stooooopid guides test. I'M GOING TO LEAVE HALF WAY. i dont really care if i'm going to fail it or what. guides is not even my priority. BALLET IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT. SUPER JUNIOR IS ALSO WAY MORE IMPORTANT. i should have joined some cca that either involves some movement or really low attendance. btw,why they made cca so important? sorry but FUCK MOE. everybody, i love ballet. when i get into grade 8, it's POINTE TIMEEEEEEE! YAY FOR ME! when i am really really good, i will join std. so HWAITING~~

omg!
it's the holidays~~~~~~
today is the gb girls drill comp. i'm so jealous of them cuz they love their cca so much. i really respect them and hope they get gold. they really put in a lot of effort.

omg!
junior got fever and tmr she's going overseas. i really hope she's alright. ^^ she's the zangggggggg~~~ <3

omg!
why cant keepvid work?! sadededededededed. D:

omg!
jellyfish asked. i predicted it. but i do not like him. i just think he's nomu kyopta. haha. his tiny ass~~~

omg!
i hope first may come faster.

omg!
i hope i can get hold of 3jib faster.

omg!
i think people thinks i'm weirddddd.

omg!
omg-ing is so nice.

MY BOYS MY 13 BOYS.
SUPER JUNIOR.
THEY. ARE. THE. BEST.

everybody, the truth is, yesterday, i wanted to go home is not because my tuition had pushed early. is not because i wanted to go home and rest. it is because, i wanted to watch my super junior live on kbs live. but end up, i not only missed it, i created a minor drama. my oppa scolded her. and she thot i was under stress. but seriously, I AM NOT. but i'm not sure why i broke down. but i think it's mostly cuz i missed my boys. talk about fangirling. hehe.

everybody, everybody, everybody, I ORDER YOU TO WATCH.

why i like you-


sorry sorry-


i want all 13 please.....
kibum ah, hope your omma will be well soon~

i am resurrected from my dead/tired status that i had from the past 3 months.